Tomorrow I have the 2nd driving license test. I must be studying right now.
However, the test server's been down since this evening, and this is a nice excuse not to press myself no more, I've been studying for already 3 hours today. Hope this be enough.
Currently I'm being more strange than ever, confusing, stressed out, a bit depressed but at the same time, trying to be more positive than ever, too. If I define my status in one word, what would it be? A chaos? A contradiction?
My days are consisting of counting from one to ten and breathing deeply every seconds. When I get some free time, I try not to be in crowd, find a place where I can only listen the birds singing, leaves moving gently in the breeze, and no one cares even I'm lying on the ground. This calms me down effectively and recharges the positive energy so as I can stand in this storm one week more.
Being in a group of people depressed, frustrated and expecting no future is not easy at all. When I'm not afford to recharge energy during weekend, I just get burnt out before Monday ends. As my position in the work is to encourage, collaborate with people and improve the system we have. It's difficult to overcome a prejudice especially you're new in a gang, and that's what I exactly do: to fight against the fixed idea they have established during 3 years since the starting of this company.
Anyway, step by step. I've decided to give free korean class to my colleagues after Easter week vacation. There are already several applicants for it. Will this be the 1st step for a change? Could I contribute something to our lives? I don't know yet.
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