A positive thinking

Finally it's being finished this month, which was full of exams. I'm heading to the end of May, and have just 2 more exams, will be free soon. What a good news I have. 

If I describe last week a word, I can say a "deja vu". Every evening I thought "this scene is so familiar to me, why?", because all the things I did was only STUDYING at kitchen with Boris. So every time we were at kitchen together studying, seemed to me that I had seen that before. Nevertheless, it's being finished, indeed!

Last Saturday I got an appointment to have lunch with Ainhoa and Eider, so I spent whole morning doing my face and hair, choosing clothes, all the girl things to look pretty :p, than went out to buy some ingredients to make Kimbob (Rice and vegetable rolls with laver and sesame oil, which is typical Korean food for picnic). And as soon as I stepped on the first stair, I twisted my ankle and slipped down as if I was playing on a slide. When I woke up I was lying on the floor, and could feel some trouble on my back and waist. I could hardly walk, but went up the stairs again and arrived at home because I didn't want to being looked by my neighbors. Of course, when I was at home I had to stay on my bed all day suffering from horrible backache. Even couldn't I lift my legs nor arms to change my clothes. 

When I was stuck on the bed, I asked myself, "why did this happen to me?" and made a conclusion, which is, this happened because if I had gone out that day, something more horrible would be happened to me. It was such stupid thought but there was no other way to console myself in my momentary misfortune. Indeed it was so sad being on the bed with full makeup and hair done. Anyway, now I'm better than Saturday, but still feel ache on my back and wrist when I move even slightly.

And today, after exam I stopped  over BBVA for withdrawing money, and I found 400 euros on the ATM machine with a bill. Somebody must have forgotten to bring the money after taking out card, and hadn't come back. I was being tempted for an instance, (because I had spent lot of money last month..) but soon took it out and brought it to bank windows. After that I thought, "if I hadn't handed it something bad would be happen to me to repay this". Time to have positive thinking. Even I can tell it gonna be work or not. 

A contemplation about human nature on the wrong side

If someone ask you how you think about yourself, what will you answer? Or, do you think you're able to reply on it immediately? It's very short and simple question but I'm sure it'll take a plenty of time until you find a proper answer. Sometimes I ask it to myself, and as I'm kind of moody person it depends on the situation in which I am. 

Today, I asked it again, and my answer was "so frustrated". Frustrated in all my attempts to maintain my own world calm and peaceful, frustrated with the circumstance that didn't let me shut my mouth and keep the words, frustrated by people who never stop talking of the others. As I'm Buddhist, I always try to be calm and listen to the others without specific prejudice even though they're criticize me or my friends severely by being different. It doesn't matter for me because I have own firm faith about myself to get through all those things make me shake my resolution. But it doesn't mean I never get hurt. I'm so vulnerable and have got lots of scars by human relationship, despite of all the effort  that I provide in order not to get injured. Fortunately, I'm positive enough to overcome all of it. 

Anyway, I've been so exploded recently, especially today. Everything that existed around me were so annoying and made me sick and tired, I couldn't get rid of it even keep it away with hours of meditation. Instead, I had to persevere all day thinking another good things would happen to me in the future. However, when I got back home, the future which I had expected to make me happy also had let me down. So down. 

Is it evil the human nature? Why do we try everything which can make the others feel disappointed and powerless against their lives? Why can't we keep our mouth shut even for a while? Why everyone wants know about the other's personal secret and likes to spread a rumor about it with no sure? Why is it so important how to live the others and why don't we think about how to live our lives more happily?

One last question, when you've got lost everything that you had by your venom against your friends, how are you gonna excuse about it? That's so sad, really, so sad. I need more meditation, a very long one, maybe an eternal one. 

The difference between Amor and Cariño

Sometimes I realize that I'm too realistic to be beloved. That's why I'm still single, despite of all the facts that drive me into a relationship. To become someone's beloved, I'm too into my little box and always think about the consequence first that will be made. Once when I showed myself completely, and when the relationship finished, it was like to have bombed out my head and somewhere in my mind even thought I wasn't in love. It's more like to be betrayed by someone. As it was a horrible experience and took a long time to recover the injury, I used to deny what I felt, reject the hand given by the others to warm my heart. However, since I decided to change myself I usually demonstrate what I feel, what I think about the others, especially when I'm with him, hoping something inside me gonna change for the better.

But now, I can't tell that was good to have done that. Maybe I was too unripe and too rash to show myself. Or, maybe my being honest became into being too frickin' innocent, giving him a margin to penetrate into my life without having any doubt about his words. I always tried to believe just what I was feeling, seeing and receiving, no matter how fool I've been seem. And I believed that I was doing well, for me, and for him. Sometimes I had to keep silence for a long time in order not to lie to my friends about what was happening between us, because it made them too stressful. Sometimes I had to be as if I didn't exist on the air so as not to bother his own life. During a period, there was no single place that I could stay feeling at ease because I couldn't tell anyone about my real emotion. And it made me be totally a mute especially when I was in front of him. I didn't wanna tell him no single piece of my feeling and I'm sure it made him feel uncomfortable enough, once he told me that he felt like an idiot because he didn't know at all what to do when he was with me.

Um, knowing what to do when you're in a awkward situation is a quite difficult thing. The questions is, why did I make the situation awkward? It's because I thought it would be finished soon the connection between us. So I didn't expected anything else from our situation, such as love or real relationship. I just wanted to be with somebody not to feel lonely. Certainly there is a part of loneliness that can't be fulfilled by friendship, or by familly, and I wanted to get it over passing time with him. Now I know it was a bad decision. It was really bad bad decision. As time goes on, I've become attached to this situation, to him, knowing something is definitely wrong between our fake relationship. It made me more thirsty for the real things, at the same time I was losing the trust about the fact that the love exists. I couldn't feel in love, but didn't wanna put this down because of the CARIÑO (affection in Spanish, it sounds better for me) that I have got.

However, we all know it will be terminated in the course of time. And we're walking down two different road by the consequence of what we've done. I think, I'm in the unbound side, which is headed to the open end, and I wonder which road he is walking along. I guess it is closed the end of that road, because of lots of fact that I can't tell exactly what they are. Is it possible he changes direction? Or should I find another way in order not to hurt myself again? A question without a solution, and never finishes. 

Korean Film recommendation

A few weeks ago, Jason, one of my professor who gives us Tourism English class, asked me to recommend him some Korean movies. It was good news for me that he was interested in it (there are lots of good movies to watch!), so I made the list of movies. As I've mentioned before, there are lots of good movies, especially ROMANCE stuffs (Koreans are so romanticist!). However, on my list there is no romance movie, even no single one, because I HATE THEM! Instead, there are lots of thriller, horror, crime and action movies, my favorites.

If you are also interested in Korean Movies, you can find them easily on any website. I'd like to recommend you to buy DVDs, although we all know that's the hardest way to watch Korean movie in Spain.

Anyway, here is a list of the films, of course there are my favorites!

1. Mr. Socrates - 미스터 소크라테스 (2005) 

Director/writer:  Choi Jin-won 

Cast:  Kim Rae-won, Kang Sin-il and Lee Jong-hyuk 

Synopsis: Ku Dong-hyeok's (Kim Rae-won) life doesn't amount to much. He is a thug in the local mafia organisation and has a father who sits in jail for quite some time already. There is also a younger brother, who he tries to protect from his fate. However, suddenly he gets recruted for a special task within the organisation. He is locked inside a school and is supposed to learn day in and day out under the supervision of a teacher (Kang Shin-il). Dong-hyeoks initial unwillingness slowly but surely fades, when he understands that his life depends on him learning diligently. Later, he also gets to know the reason for his torture: He is supposed to become a policeman, who takes on certain jobs for the organisation. Dong-hyeok's new boss Detective Shin (Lee Jong-hyeok) at first doesn't think much of the rookie, but thanks to the help of his "associates" in the mafia the new recruit can solve some cases in almost no time. Shin decides to take Dong-hyeok under his wings, but soon the recently promoted police officer has to execute his first job for the organisation. Dong-hyeok now has to decide which path to choose... 

2. Public Enemy - 공공의 적 (2002)

Director: Kang Woo-suk 

Cast:  Sul Kyung-gu, Lee Sung-jae and Kang Shin-il 

Synopsis: Ruthless cop Chul-joong and a merciless killer in raincoat run into each other in a small alleyway and form a fatal bond. A free-for-all fight occurs by coincidence on a rainy street. A week later, the dead bodies of an old couple are discovered with multiple stab wounds. Chul-joong suddenly recalls the night he met the man in the raincoat. Chul-joong meets the old couple's son CHO Gyoo-hwan. He has an intuition that CHO is the murder but has no clue. In the meantime, another murder takes place in the same fashion. The showdown between a dirty cop and a killer unfolds, as things get more personal.

3. A Bittersweet Life - 달콤한 인생 (2005)

Director/Writer:  Kim Jee-woon 

Cast:  Lee Byung-hun, Kim Young-chul and Hwang Jung-min 

Synopsis: An elegant sky lounge floating like an island in the sky above Seoul, it's like Sun Woo's own little castle. After 7 years he has climbed to the top, managing the upscale lounge and restaurant. An intelligent, cool-headed perfectionist, Sun Woo has earned the absolute trust of his boss with his undivided loyalty and by adeptly managing the business. His boss, Mr. Kang, is a callous man with a secret -- his young love, Hee-soo. When Mr. Kang suspects Hee-soo might have another boyfriend, he orders Sun-woo to keep a close eye on her and to kill her if she has betrayed him. After following her for a few days, Sun-woo barges in on Hee-soo and her boyfriend with a clear mission -- but to his own surprise, he lets them go. Sun-woo hopes everything will just go back to the way they were. But his decision has launched an irreversible war with the whole gang, guys who were like brothers just the day before.

4. The Good, the Bad, and the Weird - 놈,놈,놈 (2008)

Director:  Kim Ji-woon 

Cast:  Song Kang-ho, Lee Byung-hun and Jung Woo-sung 

Synopsis:  Set in 1930s Japanese occupied Manchuria, tells the story of three Joseon (Korean) mounted bandits who get their hands on a treasure map, only to be pursued by the army of national independence, who believe that the outlaws have a map for a new railway to be built by the Japanese army.

5. Rough Cut - 영화는 영화다 (2008)

Director:  Jang Jin

Cast:  So Ji-sup, Kang Ji-hwan and Hong Su-hyun 

Synopsis: Gang-pae, #2 in his organization, is swamped with routine violence, and his dream of becoming an actor never went away. Star actor Soo-ta lives behind a veil, away from public eyes. Over time his behavior becomes increasingly agitated, provoked by paparazzi wanting a piece of him wherever he goes. This behavior puts him in a series of spiraling and uncontrollable situations. Now he begins shooting a new movie playing a gangster. Because of his bad temper, he beats up a fellow actor and forces the production to a halt. Feeling responsible, Soo-ta requests Gang-pae, whom he met by chance, to play alongside him in the movie in order to save the production. Gang-pae agrees with the condition that the violence portrayed in the movie has to be real and not fake acting violence. Soo-ta accepts the condition and they get ready for the real match.

6. Silmido - 실미도 (2003)

Director:  Kang Woo-suk

Cast:  Ahn Sung-ki, Sul Kyung-gu and Heo Jun-ho

Synopsis: Based on a true story of 1968 Korean Republic Army plan to assassinate North Korean president Kim Il-Sung. 31 criminals and death row inmates are recruited into secret training on the island of Silmi; for two years they are subjected to maximum mental and physical abuse before the mission is cancelled and the unit terminated.

7. Welcome to Dongmakgol - 웰컴 투 동막골 (2005)

Director:  Park Kwang-hyun

Cast:  Jeong Jae-young, Shin Ha-kyun and Kang Hye-jeong

Synopsis: The story is set in Korea during the Korean War in 1950. Soldiers from both the North and South, as well as an American pilot, find themselves in a secluded village, its residents largely unaware of the outside world, including the war.

The film is based on the long-running play by Jang Jin.

8. Tae Guk Gi : the Brotherhood of War - 태극기 휘날리며 (2004)

Director:  Kang Je-kyu

Cast:  Jang Dong-gun, Won Bin and Lee Eun-ju

Synopsis: A drama about the fate of brothers forced to fight in the Korean War.

9. JSA : Joint Security Area - 공동 경비구역 JSA (2000)

Director:  Park Chan-wook

Cast:  Song Kang-ho, Lee Byung-hun and Lee Young-ae

Synopsis: After a shootout at the common security area at the border of the two Koreas, when two soldiers were murdered, Maj. Sophie E. Jean is assigned by the Neutral Nations Supervisory Commission to investigate the incident. The smart Major finds lack of consistency in the statements of the survivors, and in spite of being pressed by her superior, she interviews South Koreans Sgt. Lee Soo-hyeok and private Nam Sung-shik, and the North Korean Sgt. Oh Kyeong-pil, disclosing a tragic story of friendship.

10. Nowhere to Hide - 인정사정 볼것 없다 (1999)

Director:  Lee Myung-se

Cast:  An Sung-ki, Park Jung-hoon and Jang Dong-gun

Synopsis:  Detective Woo is investigating the mysterious 'Forty Steps' murder, along with his fellow police officers. Woo suspects the infamous Chang Sung-min of the murder, but must chase Chang to all corners of Korea for months before he can catch up with the suspect and find out the truth.

11. The Chaser - 추격자 (2008)

Director:  Na Hong-jin  

Cast:  Kim Yun-suk, Ha Jung-woo and Seo Young-hee

Synopsis:  Joong-ho is a dirty detective turned pimp in financial trouble as several of his girls have recently disappeared without clearing their debts. While trying to track them down, he finds a clue that the vanished girls were all called up by a same client whom one of his girls is meeting with right now.

12. Oldboy - 올드보이 (2003)

Director:  Park Chan-wook

Cast:  Choi Min-sik, Yu Ji-tae and Kang Hye-jung

Synopsis:  After being kidnapped and imprisoned for 15 years, Oh Dae-Su is released, only to find that he must find his captor in 5 days.

13. Memories of Murder - 살인의 추억 (2003)

Director:  Bong Jun-ho

Cast:  Song Kang-ho, Kim Sang-kyung and Kim Roe-ha

Synopsis:  South Korea in 1986 under the military dictatorship: Two rural cops and a special detective from the capital investigate a series of brutal rape murder. Their crude measures become more desperate with each new corpse found. Based on a true case.

14. Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance - 복수는 나의 것 (2002)

Director:  Park Chan-wook

Cast:  Shin Ha-kyun, Song Kang-ho and Bae Doona

Synopsis:  In Seoul, Ryu, a deaf worker has a sister who needs a kidney transplant. He tries to donate his own kidney to his sister, but his blood type is not compatible with hers. When Ryu is fired from Ilshin Electronics, he meets illegal dealers of organs, and the criminals propose that he give them his kidney plus ten millions Won to obtain a kidney suitable for his sister. Ryu accepts the trade, but he does not have money to pay for the surgery. His anarchist revolutionary girlfriend Cha Young-mi convinces him to kidnap Yossun, the daughter of his former employer Park, who owns Ilshin Electronics. However, a tragedy happens, generating revenge and a series of acts of violence.

15. Thirst - 박쥐 (2009)

Director:  Park Chan-wook

Cast:  Song Kang-ho, Kim Ok-bin and Kim Hae-sook

Synopsis:  Through a failed medical experiment, a priest is stricken with vampirism and is forced to abandon his ascetic ways.

16. The Foul King - 반칙왕 (2000)

Director:  Kim Jee-woon

Cast:  Song Kang-ho, Park Sang-myeon and Go Ho-kyung

Synopsis:  Dae-Ho is an unproductive bank clerk who is late to work every morning and the object of his manager's frustrations. He was a fan of TV wrestling as a child, but can't get out of a headlock. He finds a local wrestling trainer and through a series of events eventually starts to train. He is slowly transformed as he begins his second job as the cheating villain wrestler known as the Foul King. He starts to stand up for himself in odd ways that are not really in his own best interest. Events get out of hand as conflicting influences come together.

17. The King and the Clown - 왕의 남자 (2005)

Director:  Lee Jun-ik

Cast:  Lee Jun-ki, Kam Woo-sung and Jeong Jin-young

Synopsis:  Two clowns living in the Chosun Dynasty get arrested for staging a play that satirizes the king. They are dragged to the palace and threatened with execution, but are given a chance to save their lives if they can make the king laugh.

18. Running Boy - 말아톤 (2005)

Director:  Jung Yoon-chul

Cast:  Cho Seung-woo, Kim Mi-sook and Lee Gi-young

Synopsis:  The movie follows the story of a young man with autism, named Cho-Won, who finds release only in running. As a child, Cho-Won regularly threw tantrums, bit himself, and refused to communicate with others -- finding solace only in zebras and the Korean snack, Chocopie. His mother never gave up on him and was determined to prove to the world that her child can be normal. As Cho-Won gets older, he begins to find a passion for running and his mother is there to encourage and support him. Even though both Mother and Cho-Won suffer from family and financial issues, they find a former marathon champion -- now a lethargic old man with alcohol problems....

19. Peppermint Candy - 박하사탕 (1999)

Director:  Lee Chang-Dong

Cast:  Sul Kyung-Gu, Moon So-Ri and Kim Yeo-Jin

Synopsis:  At the beginning of the film, in the year 1999, the main character Yong-ho wanders to a reunion of his old student group. After causing some general mayhem with his deranged antics, he leaves and climbs atop a nearby train track. Facing an oncoming train, he exclaims "I want to go back again!". What follows is a series of prior events in the main character's life that show how he became the suicidal man portrayed in this scene...

20. Oasis - 오아시스 (2002)

Director:  Lee Chang-dong

Cast:  Sul Kyung-gu, Moon So-ri and An Nae-sang

Synopsis:  Jong-du, a young man just out of prison for manslaughter, is a social misfit: fidgety, snuffling, laughing inappropriately, without a super ego. When released, he calls on the family of the victim; they send him away, but not before he has seen Gong-ju, a young woman disabled severely by cerebral palsy. Both are abused by their families, and both are used by them as well. Although their relationship begins with Jong-du's criminal behavior, a friendship develops. They talk of favorite things; he washes her hair; they go out; in late night phone calls, he helps her past her fears of the dark. Is there a place in the world for these two inarticulate people? 

21. Spring Summer Fall Winter... and Spring - 봄, 여름, 가을, 겨울 그리고 봄 (2003)

Director:  Kim Ki-duk

Cast:  Kim Ki-duk, Oh Yeong-su and Kim Jong-ho

Synopsis:  This film takes place in an isolated lake, where an old monk lives on a small floating temple. The wise master has also a young boy with him that teaches to become a monk. And we watch as seasons and years pass by.

22. Mother - 마더 (2009)

Director:  Bong Joon-ho

Cast:  Won Bin, Kin Hye-ja and Jin Ku

Synopsis:  A high school girl is discovered dead on a rooftop in town, shocking the residents and pressuring the incompetent police to find the killer. With only circumstantial evidence placing Do-joon near the scene of the crime, the police are happy with their cursory investigation and arrest the boy. His defense attorney is unreliable, and the police trick Do-joon into signing a confession, leaving him facing a long jail sentence. The police could not figure out why and who would display the girl's dead body on the rooftop where the entire town is in plain view. The mother, horrified and unconvinced that Do-joon is even capable of murder, gets involved in unraveling the details of the murder and the background of the victim to try and prove her son's innocence. She scours the town, uncovering salacious details of the girl's life, allying with Jin-tae, who was surprisingly sympathetic towards her plight, and unsettling everyone around her in her determined quest for justice. 

23. Attack the Gas Station - 주유소 습격사건 (1999)

Director:  Kim Sang-jin

Cast:  Lee Sung-jae, Yu Oh-sung, Kang Sung-il and Yu Ji-tae

Synopsis:  A quartet of disaffected Korean youths have robbed a Seoul gas station. Later, while hanging out in a Chinese noodle shop, they decide to rob the same gas station. After taking the gas station over, their wacky antics ensue; forcing the manager to sing, kidnapping customers that complain about the service, and staging fist-fights between street gang members and gas station employees; all of these reflect their own gripes against society.

24. The Host - 괴물 (2006)

Director:  Bong Jun-ho

Cast:  Song Kang-ho, Park Hae-il, Bae Doona and Byeon Hae-bong

Synopsis:  A monster emerges from Seoul's Han River and focuses its attention on attacking people. One victim's loving family does what it can to rescue her from its clutches.

25. Tazza : The High Rollers - 타짜 (2006)

Director:  Choi Dong-hoon

Cast:  Kim Hye-soo, Cho Seung-woo, Yu Hae-jin and Baek Yun-shik

Synopsis:  A guy with a talent for cards makes his way into the dangerous world of underground gambling in this crime thriller from South Korea. Go-ni (Jo Seung-woo) is a small-town guy with a big appetite for gambling. Convinced he?s on a hot streak one evening during a card game, Go-ni bets his life savings on a hand of hwatu, only to lose to a crooked cardsharp. Determined to get revenge, Go-ni sets out to find the guy who cheated him and win back his money.

26. Haeundae : Tidal Wave (2009)

Director:  Yun Ji-kyun

Cast:  Sul Kyung-gu, Ha Ji-won, Um Jung-hwa and Park Jung-hoon

Synopsis:  Located on the southeast tip of the Korean peninsula is the international city of Busan. A popular vacation spot on the East Sea coast, Haeundae draws one million visitors to its beaches every year. Man-sik and Yeon-hee, are unsure as to whether they can overcome past wounds and continue being a couple. Dr. Kim, who cautions against a possible mega-tsunami at Haeundae, collapses in agony springing from an unexpected turn-up of his daughter and divorced wife. Hyoung-sik, after rescuing a woman from Seoul, rides out a ferocious storm to gladden her heart. A tsunami which destroys Haeundae symbolizes the establishment of a typical axis called provocation of conflicts, and later the inner spaces of the couples without anything left behind after all conflicts have ended.

Why don't you have Korean Movie Time Tonight?