KORUS(South Korea-United States) FTA

Before starting this story, I admit to being opponent to the FTA.

As soon as I arrived at home, I turned on my laptop to know what had happened in my country. As one of my classmate previously informed, the ratification had finally taken place inside the Assembly, without attendance of the opposition party. One of the Assembly, who is a member of the opposition party and his name is Kim Sun-dong, who had fortunately been in the Assembly session, had thrown a tear bomb to the chairman's table to stop the vote. And the others, from the other members to the journalist, had not been gained the admission to the chamber so the only thing they could have done is to attempt to break the door.

Sounds like a big mess, but that's what really happened.

The citizens had been protesting for hours and hours against the government and they'd been fired back with water cannons by police. It was -3 degrees in Seoul. A few of them had been arrested by police under the title of being RED or Commie, even the police had arrested the innocent pedestrian who had been watching the happening and had been complaining that they couldn't have crossed the road owing to the barricade.

Since when have we lost our freedom of expression? Are they able to tell us that the citizens were wrong, and they were the right one? Do they have the right to stifle our free expression? Or could they even exist without a nation? It's not just a problem of FTA, it's about RESPECT for our nation. We had expressed our opinions thousands of times that we were not agreed with the resolution of the National Assembly, and they never listened to us.

As it always happens, OUR Mr.President wasn't in Korea. It will be a splendid excuse for him because he'll tell us he wasn't in charge of the situation. Having the ratification approved, he showed up and appreciated the effort of their making deals with it.

Now you may ask me, what's wrong with the KORUS FTA? I'd like to ask you first, do you believe it's a equal treaty? Not at all. 

The Anxiety About Myself

In these days, I'm sitting alone in the kitchen whole evening, studying for the preparation of CAE. And I'm fed up with it because I've been doing this for months, and there's no signal that I've been improved. When I applied for it I was so sure that I would have enough time ability to pass it. However, the reality was that I couldn't devote my free times to the preparation, that I had so many things from the course, such as exams, group works, final project, etc. 

So now I admit to not having considered about the circumstance that I really faced, but the one which I imagined to be. The time is always against me even though I have distributed it adequately, day by day I'm pressured by the thought that I may fail on the test. Actually it's no use beating me up like that. But Knowing this fact, I'm still doing it, and it presses me more and more. I'd never thought that I didn't have enough level of English, in addition, I'd even worked as an English teacher in Korea although it was a short period.

Anyway, I didn't even finished less than the half of the textbook, and have just 2 weeks til the test. The thing which makes me so stressful is that I had payed almost 250 euros for the application of the test and for the material. Spending the money which is not mine but from my parents, every time I should have to think about the amount of money I had spent, and sleep on it if it was something valuable which I had spent for. What a pressing mental problem... I should take advantage of every opportunity to pass the exam. First of all, I have to make a point of being not alone, everybody's trying to help me out from that I actually fed up with the situation, then remind me I STILL have 2 more week. 

Be POSITIVE! Don't be struggling on the stupid thinking that you can't do that! 

..............whatever.

How far we've come

Or how far I've come. Because there is no more 'We' between us. 

It's been raining all day and still cloudy. I've been sitting in kitchen all morning staring the rain through the window. There were my flatmates at home but I felt like as if I was alone in this house, as I had been last summer after my parents had left Spain. And I remembered the gab of last summer when I was totally alone in this city, when I was struggling for the escape from the loneliness that I had.

The expression of loneliness is absolutely prohibited in this society, I thought. As time goes by, people get more and more lonely, and nobody want to meet the same one as they are, just looking forward to having another one who can share their loneliness and who listens to them all night nodding silently. Knowing this, I used to try to hide what I felt, however, that was not the easy one at all. 

Having remembered of what happened last summer during the 'gab' of summer, I quieted down. The darkness which blanketed outside rode me into deep inside myself to look back upon those days. I whispered to myself that I would never regret what I'd done, because they already consisted a part of my life and I couldn't remove it whatever I did. That's what called Karma, I thought. 

How to finish this eternal circulation of loneliness? I have my mother, who loves me more than anything. I know she can do everything for me whatever it ts, but honestly there is a part in my heart that she doesn't fulfill and I'm sure that it exists also in her heart. 

If you feel as same as I do, I'd like to recommend listening to the song titled "The Origin of Love", from the movie "Hedwig and the Angry Inch". I need a coffee break, it's bit late to have it for me, though.