In these days, I'm sitting alone in the kitchen whole evening, studying for the preparation of CAE. And I'm fed up with it because I've been doing this for months, and there's no signal that I've been improved. When I applied for it I was so sure that I would have enough time ability to pass it. However, the reality was that I couldn't devote my free times to the preparation, that I had so many things from the course, such as exams, group works, final project, etc.
So now I admit to not having considered about the circumstance that I really faced, but the one which I imagined to be. The time is always against me even though I have distributed it adequately, day by day I'm pressured by the thought that I may fail on the test. Actually it's no use beating me up like that. But Knowing this fact, I'm still doing it, and it presses me more and more. I'd never thought that I didn't have enough level of English, in addition, I'd even worked as an English teacher in Korea although it was a short period.
Anyway, I didn't even finished less than the half of the textbook, and have just 2 weeks til the test. The thing which makes me so stressful is that I had payed almost 250 euros for the application of the test and for the material. Spending the money which is not mine but from my parents, every time I should have to think about the amount of money I had spent, and sleep on it if it was something valuable which I had spent for. What a pressing mental problem... I should take advantage of every opportunity to pass the exam. First of all, I have to make a point of being not alone, everybody's trying to help me out from that I actually fed up with the situation, then remind me I STILL have 2 more week.
Be POSITIVE! Don't be struggling on the stupid thinking that you can't do that!
..............whatever.
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